Laosy Wound, Dec 9, 2010

So... if you were not aware, I can be a total hot-headed, smug punk sometimes. As such, there are lessons to learn and debts to be paid- current said debt takes form as a 4'' long by 1'' deep gash in the calf! In hind sight, there were many signs I should have heeded to. The motor bike I rented was not even from a proper rental place-- it belonged to a mechanic and his wife and working through spotty english to arrange the deal was a total hassle. At one point he motioned for me to hop on his bike. We drive about 2 blocks away to another shop and pick up another bike. He motions for me to hop on the other bike and drive behind him back to his shop. My experience with manual bikes is very limited but on the first try I figured it out and follow him back to his shop. We settleed the deal. Paid up and gave our passports for collateral.


Once all was said and done, I hop on the bike to leave. All eyes are on me. "Is she really going to drive that?" I back the bike up and begin to accelerate.... aaaannnd it keeps accelerating.... aaaannnnd accelerating. I raced forward about 6 feet, very quickly, legs dragging on the ground trying to stop myself. Bike stops- engine revving. All eyes are really on me now! "I knew she couldn't drive!", their faces say. Just when I think I have it together and I'll drive off successfully and prove my upstanding motor capabilities... "no no folks... just kidding! haha!".... my lower leg feels hot and heavy. I look down. So confused- blood is gushing and I can see the insides of my flesh like I've never seen before. Is that bone?! What am I looking at! Crap. Northern Laos. Blood. Lots of blood. Did I say NORTHERN SLEEPY LOAS?!


I get off the bike and stand in shock, bending down for a moment, squeezing my leg above laosy wound. "What do I do?" I said to my fellow traveler, Thomas (who we'll now refer to as Big Baby Man). BBM says "I haven't an f-ing clue" and he's literally running around in circles. At that moment I knew this man was going to be of no help to me - whatsoever. Get it together Elise. Breath. Stay conscious. Don't look at your gushing flesh. Breath. I laid down and got my leg in the air- took of my headband and tied it just above the wound and Thomas and I starting saying "hospital"...  "hospital". Soon a local man with a truck pulled up. BBM helped me into the back. I laid down and rested my leg up on the seat. Sorry about the blood on the seat dude... good thing your seats are pleather. The hospital is small. White, maybe new? Seems clean. No one speaks English. "Huang Nam... Huang Nam" I say. Ive gotta pee really bad! "Just go", Thomas says. I don't think so. Soon pain and necessity overtook the urge.

They prepared a table in the hallway for me. Why the hallway? "Maybe its cleaner?" I thought- I have no clue... but I was stitched in the hallway, surrounded by empty rooms with beds. Upon first resting on the table I was trying to wrap my mind around what was about to happen. What do I need to prepare myself for? At that point Laosy wound isn't bleeding anymore. "ok... they're going to stitch it up! Right?! Obviously. That's logical. They definitly are not going to cut my leg off. I know that much Phew." Then I sit up and have another peak at Laosy wound. "Ahhhhhh.... how the HELL are they going to stitch that?!" I thought. It was just so deep and from edge to edge, so wide and gapiong. I could bare the thought of then pulling the skin back together.

Ahh yes, but they will give me pain pills or local anesthetic right?! Yes!
Wrong. Thomas stood by my side while they stitched. I held his hand a pullsed and squeezed with each new stitch. The first stitch may have hurt the most. I attraced a crowd of onlookers. Each new set of eyes was accompanied by a ghastly look on their face as they caught glimpse of the wound. And then they looked at me and I smiled and then they smiled in relief. I broke a sweat and could feel the adrenaline pumping. My leg was so tense I concentrated on easing it up and relaxing into it. I figured it would be bad to have it stitched while my muscles were all contracted. There's just no way around this Elise. You just gotta dive in!  I think around stitch 4 or 5 I starting singing Joni Mitchell's "Peoples Parties" which segues nicely into "same situation". I tapped into a part of myself that I hadn't known before. I'm serious-- It was kind of beautiful.

Since my doctor didn't speak English and I couldn't ask her how many times she had done stitches and what the severity of the wound was and whether or not she was breast fed, I just decided to make it all up in my head. I decided to manifest that she was extremely well trained... graduated top of the class actually in Muang Sing. She had an excellent day at work and received many compliments on her new hair doo. She was happily married and last night had the best sex of her. And so it was... and so the stitches were done exceptionally well. 

First few days in Laos, Dec 2010

For the first week in Laos I traveled with a group that conglomerated over lunch in Luang Nam Tha as we all chatted about arranging a trek into the Nam Ha National Bio-Diversity Conservation Area. Our table kept growing in size as trekking options were being tossed and other travelers realized they were into the same plan. Pull up a chair and join us! I love how groups form like this when traveling. The international backpacking community give me faith in humanity. 


Our two day trek was amazing. Our group got along swimmingly. We were led by a 27 year old Laos guide named Ponsack. Handsome guy and he knows it. Very knowledgeable about various plants and herbs along the way- and leaves that you can snap, roll and blow bubbles from. Ponsack knows all the moves. Hiking up the hills through the jungle was great exercise and well rewarded with a traditional Laos lunch. We arrived at an Akha hill tribe village at about 4:30 pm and were instantly offered handy crafts. I surely did not need four embroidered pouches, but for about a dollar each and the thought of supporting their tribe it was well worth it. The detail that's put into these handicrafts compared to how cheap they are sold ... well, makes me feel bad! Especially when I've sold jewelry at home for 30 times the price! 


An amazing dinner was cooked for us. A small snake found along the trek was made into a delicious lime leaf soup. When we asked Ponsack what snake would taste like he replied "snake tastes like snake." This became a running joke with the group... "Ponsack, what does grasshopper taste like?"... we anticipated the answer. "Grasshopper"... and he would chuckle. During dinner a man walked around the circle, feeding us shots of Lao Lao- local whiskey- possibly, ever so slightly narcotic? Very strange quality of "drunk". They just kept it coming, going round and round the circle with shots! Sometimes refusing alcohol in SE Asia is considered very rude, so these situations can be interesting to deal with if your not up for it. Let's just say that a few us don't remember as much as others' from that night! The next day we were crying, laughing so hard at the photos. 

Our group got on so well that we decided to travel further north together. Welcome to Muang Sing. Slow, sleepy, rural. Lonely planet says "Muang Sing is a small town that grows on you by the hour. Its main appeal is a confluence of cultures ... It’s a utopia for trigger-happy photographers... " I think everyone in the group was a little burnt out from our trek though and maybe a bit disenchanted with such a rural scene. As such- it was my main mission to find a motorbike rental so I could explore the surrounding area and hill tribe cultures. Maybe I could replicate my enchanting ride through the hills of Chiang Mai?

Chiang Rai - Early Dec 2010

Chiang Rai is indeed, I think as lonely planet puts it, Chiang Mai's sleepy cousin. I met up with my next WWOOF host, who we'll call Al. Al's a cool dude. He's an author, entrepreneur, Californian musician, user of classic slang such as "ace" (good) and "hip cat" (*see bellow). This was all refreshing, sort of a taste of home. Al and I arranged to meet at a bakery near the bus station. As I sat out front sizing everyone up for the looks of "Al ", an old man walked in, eyes down, seemingly grumpy- seemed to have one goal- paper and coffee. I thought, nahhhhh.... can't be him. "My Al" would be looking around for a girl with a backpack. Engaging the scene, right? But after waiting about ten minutes I thought I better double check. "Are you Al?" YUP! Ok. Off to a good start.

Al was real easy to get along with. Despite his age, which I dare not guess so we'll just say "older", Al had a real youthful demeanor and way of interacting. He was also a bit misleading. His WWOOF setup was not so much a farm as it was an adventure tourism park in the making. The arrangements were work for about 5 hours a day- free lunch, all the bread and eggs you want for night/morning, a small house all to yourself and a beater bike to get too and from town. Doesn't sound too bad, right? I couldn't take it. Maybe someone died once upon a time in this small house that I had all to myself? It was a total creep fest and I was alone, swimming in it! On my 2nd night I couldn't take it anymore so I fixed the bike up and rode into town- about 30 minutes. This was also the same night that I declared "lately I've been thinking about how I think I might think too much and I think I might want to think about cutting it out." 

For the most part I enjoyed my work days with Al- he was super laid back and funny and very open about to talking about his Thai girlfriends (a topic I find really fascinating in SE Asia. If your not familiar, male "Ex Pats" flock here by the 1,000 to enjoy women of their dreams.  Some really do fall in love. Others become disenchanted as they turn into walking ATM's, have to make all the decisions including what she'll have for dinner-- "up to you mister"-- and as they are completely, intellectually UNstimulated. Anyways, I helped Al paint a sign for his business with toxic oil paint that he said I could just wash with paint thinner into the ground at the end of the day. Thanks WWOOF host. Then again, I did it without complaint.

I realize that I all too often give people TOO much benefit of the doubt- I get pretty butt-hurt about potentially disappointing others, so sometimes I just avoid it at all costs even if it means sacrificing my own comfort or happiness. Another traveler in Chiang Rai helped me realize that I was really getting the bunk end of the deal with Al since his setup had nothing to do with organic farming, there was a total lack of community, and I was to sleep alone in a house that was either a) haunted or b) just had exceptionally bad feng shui. So! I follow the wind to Laos.